Sunday, February 12, 2012

Sunday Night Reflections

The Artist's Way
Week 5
I'd like to thank all of you who have sent such wonderful notes wishing me a speedy recovery. The week began with me feeling very tired, extremely tired. I thought it was because I had not slept well for a few days, but as it turns out, I was getting sick. By Wednesday night I had a very sore throat and by Thursday, I had a horrible headache and the beginning of a fever blister. This evening I decided I needed to get out so I went to Mass. Ironically, the first scripture was about a person with leprosy!! I guess God does have a sense of humor.
So week five, recovering a sense of possibility. As you know, a good portion of my week was spent lying in bed. Although I missed three days of morning pages, once again, a powerful week. What struck me was the question in the tasks that asked what is my payoff for staying blocked. Blocked, me, blocked? As it turns out, very much so. I realized that there are many aspects of my life that although I am quite proud of, I guard them fiercely. For years someone would compliment a garment that I was wearing and depending upon where I was, I would just reply with a thank you. My husband would ask why I didn't say that I had made what I was wearing. The reason for my secrecy was to protect myself, at least so I thought. I learned to sew in order to have clothes and I had been taunted in school because I couldn't afford what many of the other girls could. I segment my life into this group knows this part of my life, and this group knows another part with few who really know me. So what is the payoff? I think that I have felt that I am protecting myself, but from what? Someone who makes a judgement based on poor judgement, jealousy or just plain ignorance?
This blog was started because my acupuncturist had insisted that I needed to find some means to share what I do. When I named the blog "Rhonda's Creative Life," I felt uncomfortable, vulnerable, but I was determined to carry through. It was actually the first time that I was able to stand up and say that yes my life is creative.
As I thought about all that I keep to myself, or only share with certain people, I decided that it's time to just be who I am and then came the sore throat, a coincidence I'm sure, but nonetheless I think it's very ironic that the two came at the same time.
Now we start week 6. This will mark our halfway point. A sense of abundance. Do we really believe that there is enough for all? The author challenges us to write about the god that we do believe in and the god that we would like to believe in. By all means do something that you feel is luxurious. It does not need to be a new fur coat. Maybe it's as simple as buying a beautiful new bra or a special bottle of wine.  Also do the task of keeping a journal on everything you buy this week. It can be very enlightening.
Wishing you all a wonderful week.

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