Sunday Night Reflections

The Artist's Way
Week One
Although I have been through this process twice before, this is proving to be an eye opening experience once again. Last week I shared that I had an epiphany of sorts. For so many years I have felt that somehow I had been left out or part of a cruel joke, but in a moment everything changed and I suddenly saw my life, just as it is, a wonderful gift. What caused this to happen? I don't know but I can say that it has changed the way I have looked at each and every day since.
This week was also a very emotionally charged week. Early in the week, I was up early working on my morning pages. The night before I finished a book that I had been reading, "A Life God Rewards." I have always felt that we create our eternity by how we live our life here on earth. What we do and fail to do goes with us. When I first got the book, I didn't realize that this is what the book is about. As I was writing that morning I realized that I feel that nothing I have done really measures up. Then suddenly, I felt God speak to me, not out loud, but in my spirit. What came back to me was something I felt was very simple, prayers that I have said and  the desire that I have that a person I care very much for will seek redemption before their life is over and it's too late. I have prayed for this person for quite a long time and have refused to give up. As I wrote, I began to cry and I realized that what I felt was not sadness, but a feeling of being overwhelmed by actually being in the presence of God. It was the most wonderful feeling. Each morning since, I have jumped out of bed to write, hoping that I would once again feel that same presence. Although I have not, I now know that I look forward to a day when I will be able to feel what I felt that day for an entire eternity. It was that powerful.
This week I also learned that all too often I put my desires aside in order to not upset another person. I was in Denver and wanted to go to a wonderful fabric store, Denver Fabrics for my artist date. In order to do this, I was going to have to ask my husband to drop me off and in turn, he would have to find something else to do while I was there. I so wanted to go, but I thought that he would want to get up to the mountains and would not want to allow me the time. Back and forth I went in my mind and then finally all I did was say that this is something I would like to do. He was more than willing to accommodate me. I had such a wonderful time. And yes, I did buy some fabric!!
The first chapter of the Artist's Way is about recovering a sense of safety. When I struggled with asking for something I wanted to do, it was because I was afraid of being denied. It was easier to deny myself, or so I thought. When we deny ourselves we're saying that we are not important. But we are.
Week two is about recovering a sense of identity. We will learn how important it is to pay attention, to listen to our hearts. If you are working along with me, please continue to do your morning pages. I was quite surprised when I read ,"It is very important to understand that the time given to morning pages is time between you and God," interesting in light of what I experienced this past week. Make time for an artist date. It is through your dates that you will once again learn to play and find delight in what interests you. Try and work through as many of the tasks at the end of the chapter as you can. Especially try and do task number 7. I think you will find it quite enlightening.
Thank you for stopping by.
Wishing you a wonderful week.
Rhonda