Sunday, January 8, 2012

Sunday Night Reflections

The Artist's Way
Week One
Last Sunday I posted that I would be starting the journey of working through the Artist's Way and I invited anyone who would like to join to come along with me. I was actually surprised and quite happy to receive the emails and the messages that I did. It was extremely encouraging. For those of you who have chosen to take this journey, I think that you will find it life changing. For many of you, you were not able to get the book until later in the week so I decided that rather than beginning with the first week, we will begin this week with reading the introduction pages up to the first chapter, doing morning pages and taking your artist date. As is explained in the introduction, the morning pages and the artist date are non negotiable. The morning pages must be written by hand, not typed on the computer. As the author explains, we write and we right. Getting started with the morning pages can be difficult, I know, but the pay off is worth the effort and I think that you will find that they will become an important part of your life. So if you have not read the introduction pages, please do so and by all means begin with the morning pages. If you would like, email me on Sunday and check in with me about your week. Tell me about your experience with the morning pages, what you did for your artist date. Rest assured that what ever you decide to share will remain with me and will not be shared.

So this is my first week to check in. It has been quite a week. Since I was a child, I dreamed of having my own family. I even thought of names for my children. When my husband and I married, we tried to start a family, but sadly, nothing we tried worked. As time went on, I became more and more depressed. It seemed that every time I turned the television on, another child had been killed. How was it that this person was so much more deserving than I? Was there something so wrong with me that I could not be trusted with a child? And so I sunk, deeper and deeper. Little did I know at the time that my husband prayed for me to find peace and his prayer was answered when I decided to learn to fly. So often I'm asked why did I want to learn to fly? I quite simply needed to accomplish something that I could have control over. Did it take the place of a family? No, but the experience gave me confidence and helped me begin to believe in myself and my abilities. But still, for all these years, in the back of my mind I have continued to feel that for whatever reason, I wasn't chosen for what I believe to be one of the greatest gifts on earth. And then this week it happened. It was as if a steamed mirror was swiped and I could see the truth. It was always there, I just couldn't see it. Some friends who have three young boys came for a visit over the New Year's weekend. As they were getting ready to leave, I suddenly realized that my life, just as it is, is a gift. I wasn't passed over or left out, but chosen for the very life that I have. And at that very moment I thought, I love my life. It was an epiphany of sorts. This happened on Monday and since then I have felt as though a cloud was lifted and I have felt a joy that I don't know that I have ever experienced before. At this point, I feel that if I have no other revelation during the next twelve weeks, this was enough, the journey will be well worth just this one experience.

This upcoming week, the first chapter is all about the excuses we make for why we don't pursue our dreams. Little by little we'll chip away the negative beliefs that hold us back and we'll begin to find the origins of these beliefs. Remember, this is a journey of recovery. If you miss a day or two of writing your morning pages, please do not beat yourself up. Just do the best you can.  
Thank you for stopping by this evening. Wishing you all a wonderful week.


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1 comment:

  1. I'm writing the pages, and finding even that tough, and not sure what it achieves...... but hopefully it'll be useful.